Well, today was our last “session”. Periodically I speak with young women who have questions about marriage.
She’s getting married in a few days and well, she still didn’t understand why I wasn’t as excited about it as she wants me to be about it.
Experience has taught me the signs of pending heartache. Am I saying that I’m an expert? Nope, just a veteran of heartache. So much so, that I can and am writing the book.
I’ve learned that most of them I speak to have confused the sexual function for intimacy and sadly, love. Most are sexually active, so they think there’s no going back from that because “heaven forbid! He will leave me because WE CAN’T HAVE SEX.
I’ve been there. If he’s going to leave, he’s going to leave. End of quote. Sex won’t hold him, nor will your looks; though each is important, they are not a firm foundation for marriage.
Sexual mechanics are a function of the living, breathing being. It is common to those with six legs, 4 legs, 2 legs, no legs. Sex without commitment and intimacy is just Wam Pum… (peag, seawan, sewan. cylindrical beads used by of exchange and sometimes such beads
The value placed on Wam Pum is in the eye and heart of the person giving/receiving/bartering with it.
Never sacrifice your heart, for Wam Pum. Orgasm isn’t love; it’s sexual function. Imagine where the relationship would be if you couldn’t have sex anymore….
Imagine they weren’t as handsome, or as funny, or as whatever attracted to you and attempt to love them anyway…. that’s commitment, that’s one of the building blocks of a firm foundation in marriage.